Lonely
by blueXstar
Summary: Willow is upset cause of Tara's death, Buffy is just lonely..the two go out, what happens?


Buffy sat in the kitchen poking at her breakfast. She looked up at Willow only to realize that she was doing the same thing. "Can't eat?" she asked meekly.  
  
"No,"Willow replied wryly,"It's been hard for me ever since Tara died."  
  
"I know Wil. It was a sad thing. I on the other hand am just lonely."  
  
"Well it's better not to have anyone then to have someone and have them up and die."  
  
Buffy was taken back at Willow's remorse on the topic. She didn't think that she could get so angry about trival things. Maybe she did love her more than we thought.  
  
After sitting there and thinking for several minutes, she posed a thought, "How about we go out tonight? Just you and me? Ya know, for some girly fun. We can pick up chicks, whatever."  
  
"I don't know if I'm ready for that Buffy."  
  
"Well, we can go to the bronze and just hangout. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less."  
  
Willow sighed for a second then took a deep breath like she always does before she gets ready to make a commitment."Ok, but just for fun. No picking up chicks."  
  
"Fine, fun, no chicks. Sounds good to me."  
  
Around 7:30, Willow and Buffy started getting ready for their night out. Dawn sat and watched Willow getting ready, begging her every once and while if she could go. Each time, she said no, but she persisted. Buffy came in and instantly put a stop to it by saying a even firmer no. "You never let me do anything." was her reply before she stomped off and slammed her door shut. Buffy and Willow looked at eachother, each shrugging their shoulders and going back to getting ready.  
  
They entered the bronze surverying the place. The dance floor was crowded. When they ordered drinks, they could barely find a table to sit down at. Willow spotted a table secluded from everyone else, "It's the only one Buffy, we might as well take it or leave it."  
  
"I guess we'll take it."  
  
"So, do you find anyone in here attractive?"  
  
"Buffy!"  
  
"I was just asking your honest opinion."  
  
Willow looked around the room with one hand stirring her drink. Each woman she looked at gave her no sparks. That was, until she looked at Buffy. Her golden hair, her beautiful eyes. Everything on her was perfect. All these years, she had pushed her attraction for her out of the way. When she found Tara, she was in love, she had found the love of her life, but when she died, all of that was buried in the ground, with her lover. And now, since she was gone, she could love other people again, she could feel attraction for other people and this person was Buffy. Tears began welling up in her eyes,"I can't do this, I have to leave." She pulled her jacket from the back of the chair almost knocking it over. She ran through the crowd of people with Buffy hot on her tail. She ran into people and kept going even though they were yelling at her and telling her to watch where she was going.  
  
When she got outside, she fell against the building and slid down the wall sobbing. Buffy came to her side,"Wil, what's wrong?"  
  
"I can't do this right now, I can't."  
  
"What is wrong?" she asked craddling her close to her body. She sobbed even more and pushed her away.  
  
"Please, just don't touch me. I-I can't do this."  
  
"Willow, just tell me what the hell is going on!"  
  
"I love you Buffy, and I can't, I'm not supposed to love you. I can't love you!"  
  
Buffy was taken back by her words. She stuttered,"I don't know what to say."  
  
"Don't say anything, I know it's wrong. It's not right for me to love you, you're my best friend!"  
  
She moved close to Willow again pulling her into a tight embrace."It's ok, really it is. The funny thing is, I am kinda falling for you too, and I never knew I had these kinds of attractions."  
  
"You're just saying that to be nice."  
  
"No, I'm not, really." she kissed the top of her head. Willow looked up at her and without thinking, pulled Buffy's lips into meet hers. Her arms were locked tight around the blonde making her hard for her to get away, even if she wanted to. Buffy found herself enjoying the feeling she was getting from Willow's kiss more and more. But she abruptly pulled away,"Wil, le'ts not make a scene, k?"  
  
"Yeah, sure." she said pushing herself into a standing postion.  
  
"But, we can go home and finish this some more."  
  
"What?" she asked suprised. She wanted to make sure she was getting this right.  
  
"I said we can go home and finish this some more if you want too." without waiting for her answer, she grabbed her hand and pulled her down the street and to the house. When they were safetly inside, they were upstairs kissing eachother passionately.  
  
The pair had moved to the bed, but Willow was having second thoughts. "Buffy, is this real? Or are you lonely, like me and want someone to love right now?"  
  
"I- I don't know. I like you, but I don't know if my attraction towards you is real..or superficial."  
  
"I can't take a fake lover Buffy, I don't want a good lay, I want real love and then a good lay. And if you can't be that person, then we should pretend that this never happened."  
  
Once again, Buffy was shocked at her words."Honestly, I don't know. I don't know if I'm curious, or if I really love you."  
  
"Then maybe, you should get out, and we'll pretend that this never happened."  
  
Buffy hung her head and looked at a few stray tears falling from her eyes. She put her hand to her face, but she pushed it away. "Out!" she screamed pointing her long finger.  
  
Buffy slowly left her room, head hung low. She felt bad for treating her this way. She felt bad for "deceiving" her. But most of all she felt bad for hurting her friend.  
  
Willow laid on her bed, face into her pillowing sobbing, "Everyone I love always leaves me!" 


End file.
